an echo of what was

A melody I can't quite remember. A slight taste of bittersweet. It's meaning and weight can't be denied or forgotten - though it is just an echo. A simple reverberation of what was.

The memory is as fleeting and temporal as the grass that springs up after the desert rains. And then withers when it's season is done.

I have the head knowledge of this ache... But it is truly, on the tip of my tongue. I hold this fact without neglecting or denying the beauty, or it's meaning. It was lovely once.

There are memories that linger, known the soul and familiar. Yet I find myself not able to hum the tune. A whisper of beauty past and a dream just out of reach.

I know it was... "hesed"  To show this kind of love? Sometimes it may be to let go. To not cling tightly but to release. To honor it's current place.

Amo 3:3 ESV — “Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?

1Co 7:12-15 NASB20 — But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if any woman has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one is leaving, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace. 

So what do I do with the echo? 

I surrender it it to Him and live in peace. It is a seed for something eternal. A whisper of something more. I move forward - choosing hope over nostalgia giving my life back to the Great Author. A choice of obedience, reverence and submission... what is found now? It is the joy of intimacy with the Ruach Kodesh - the Holy Spirit. A new book is being written and I welcome the blank pages and give Him the pen. I will follow you home, my King. 

Lord, thank You for the beauty of what once was. Help me to cherish without clinging and to walk forward in the confidence that you waste nothing. Not even a bittersweet memory that fades. Let the melody of Your love become the song that guides me now.  For your hesed endures forever.  I will follow you my King - to my true and everlasting home. I wait expectantly and with longing. I know your plans for me are not done quite yet, but I pray you would shape them to Your will and not my own. Amen.

A song from long ago; now a cry of my soul to Jesus:

it was a summer night and i was sleeping

the moon was out, my head was beaming

i looked at my dreams like they were gold

amazing feelings draw within me

all my conflicts slip beneath me

like the spirit of a song

or like the feeling of a lover in your arms

but ever since that night and after

the dreams i had i can't recapture

and it brings me down so low

the more i search the less i find

the more i look the more i'm blind

like a melody so young

hanging on the tip of the tongue

if i wait long enough now

will you come to me

will you come to me

so far away, but right beside me

will you come to me

will you follow me home

when we first met we were so young

we played out past the setting sun

in a world of make believe

wooden forts and magic beans

silly thoughts and silly dreams

how we said we'd never change

but somehow life got in the way

but way back then and even now

i still love you i don't know how

you got magic in your eyes

and underneath our conversation

in our thoughts our contemplations

there's a feeling left unsung

hanging on the tip of the tongue